I have not met my expectations.
Stuff keeps getting in my way. Work kills most of my time. My work fascinates me, and currently it demands a great deal of attention to matters lofty and theoretical, as well as technical and challenging. My work can expand to fill all of the time I make available.
I don't make all of my time available to work, because my family also demands a huge chunk of time. Fortunately, my family fascinates me too.
I had a great time this weekend. Jess and I sorted stuff in the sun porch in preparation for Brendan's graduation party. We shopped for new end tables at a local furniture manufacturer. We tried to find rugs to replace the living room rugs we bought 10 years ago at Building 19. Twenty-eight years on, it amazes me how much fun I have doing mundane stuff with Jess. Brendan and I went to see Men In Black 3 on Saturday. (On the way home, Brendan played The Man In Black on the stereo. We share a love of all things Johnny Cash.) Sunday, I took Brendan to Hanover, NH for his last regatta. After his race, I left him behind and hurried home to take care of a quick work problem, and then helped Jess throw away more stuff. Sunday evening, I got to chat with Erin for a while, mostly about what stuff she wanted to save from our latest purge.
I feel like a decent person, because my family hangs out with me. I am very grateful to Jess. She has always ensured that I am tied to the real world and tied to people. It is entirely too easy to go down the rabbit hole of whatever problem seems to be important. It is too easy to feel that your work is too important for you to worry about other people. Jess and the kids keep me from isolating myself. They provide a steadiness in my life that prevents me from constantly chasing after some new fascination.
Less noble stuff also gets in my way. I discovered Spider Solitaire is installed on my laptop. I spent too many hours staring glassy eyed at the screen, hoping that one more game would see a victory. I think I am finished with that obsession. I still have my internet obsession. In one sense, it is my equivalent to reading the paper religiously, but the constant flood of information also sucks time away from generating my own thoughts. I am not going to give up the internet, but I am learning to discriminate between content that will be useful or truly entertaining (cute furry animals), from content that has little value (comments following any article.)
So here is an entry for the blog. It has helped me organize my thoughts on some issues.
I haven't abandoned the effort.
